Remove this ad

Lead

Nov 14 16 6:50 PM

Tags : :

I am the writer and technically 3d model poser of the comic known as OG-Chan, AKA Real Kawaii Gangstas

I am submitting myself to the mercy of the BWW court to determine if I do in fact belong here or not. All this as a result of posting my 100th webcomic.

You can see my work here at https://ogchan.com/comic/og-chan-1-real-kawaii-gangstas/

I do not consider myself an artist, as I am merely using this software to enable me to tell the story of this young woman.

I fully accept most any and all criticisms and am looking forward to all of them, warranted or not.

Plz be gentle this is my first time here. ₍₍ (ง*˙ω˙*)ว ⁾⁾

I just know we're going to get along famously.
 
Quote    Reply   
Remove this ad
Remove this ad

#1 [url]

Nov 15 16 6:21 AM

Ok, from the get go and while I wait for my internet to connect better so pages don't take so much to load:

First very important rule of comics: fonts.

You can get free fonts from sites like these
https://www.fontsquirrel.com/
http://www.dafont.com/

They got whole lists dedicated to comic fonts
https://www.fontsquirrel.com/fonts/list/classification/comic
http://www.dafont.com/theme.php?cat=102

2nd tip: Allow more breathing room inside your speech bubbles. Don't put the text so close to the borders.
3rd tip: Try making more organic-looking speech bubbles. The ones you have now are too geometrical and they distract from what's going on in the picture.

You are doing this
image
But you should do more like this
image

If you need a program you can use to draw speech bubbles, I can help with that.

I'll come back to you when I'm done reading, I guess.

Quote    Reply   

#3 [url]

Nov 15 16 5:02 PM

Oi! You are back! Nice!

Alright, remember this is only my opinion and so far not representative of the rest of the members of the BBW, which might provide different inputs.

I enjoy the comic so far. There are a couple of things about panel composition/dialogue written in other languages that could use fixing but it won't be too hard.

The main character is quirky but seems pretty likeable despite her wannabe gangsta attitude. Besides she seems a well-rounded character and I am intrigued by her backstory.

You got a pretty good sense of comedic timing, one of my favourites was Doing Hard Time Part 4 (which made me snort out loud)

Also kudos on not attempting to use realistically-ish rendered characters. That hardly ends well as they tend to delve easily into uncanny valley.

As I said, there still are a couple of things that could be improved/fixed. I'll get back to you when I am done marathoning selected episodes of Phineas and Ferb.

Quote    Reply   
avatar

BigBurkhart

Regular User

Posts: 132

#7 [url]

Nov 19 16 9:08 AM

In short, yes. I believe that it is terrible enough to warrant a review, but on the other hand we're kinda slipping into SBaHJ territory because the comic seems to have been made with the sole purpose of being terrible.

Quote    Reply   

#8 [url]

Nov 19 16 12:33 PM

Hmmm I personally don't know... it is supposed to be silly. Like, it is based on the whole premise that there is a japanese schoolgirl trying to act like a black gangsta. It's kinda around the line of shows like Excel Saga, in that it is supposed to be a dumb premise where dumb things happen and that is what's funny about it.

Quote    Reply   
Remove this ad
avatar

ohitsyou

Living Spambot

Posts: 500

#9 [url]

Nov 19 16 1:34 PM

UglyHyena wrote:
Hmmm I personally don't know... it is supposed to be silly. Like, it is based on the whole premise that there is a japanese schoolgirl trying to act like a black gangsta. It's kinda around the line of shows like Excel Saga, in that it is supposed to be a dumb premise where dumb things happen and that is what's funny about it.

But Excel Saga made me laugh. This is just shock value for the sake of shock value, like Morning Glory. Its just meme the webcomic.

Quote    Reply   

#10 [url]

Nov 19 16 3:46 PM

ohitsyou wrote:
UglyHyena wrote:
Hmmm I personally don't know... it is supposed to be silly. Like, it is based on the whole premise that there is a japanese schoolgirl trying to act like a black gangsta. It's kinda around the line of shows like Excel Saga, in that it is supposed to be a dumb premise where dumb things happen and that is what's funny about it.
But Excel Saga made me laugh. This is just shock value for the sake of shock value, like Morning Glory. Its just meme the webcomic.

I strongly object against this comparison. First: this comic is not shock humor for the sake of it, it does have a cast of characters and a plot. Second: everyone in-universe (save three absolutely socially-inept characters) is aware that Sandra is a poser that is probably just doing this whole "gangsta" thing for attention. The question presented so far is what is the reason she acts like this when she actually used to be a somewhat normal kid. Third: it does tend to present a somewhat more down-to-earth approach to the Haruhi-Suzumiya-like character archetype, in fact it makes me believe it is intended as a deconstruction of it. Fourth: I believe that any premise, no matter how dumb it is, can make a decent story if handled correctly, and OG-Chan, despite the absolutely stupid premise, actually didn't make me punch my screen in rage. In fact, it has a pretty weak start but it does get better.

So I personally don't think this comic belongs here, at least not yet. Just now the plot has started to kick in, so I suggest we see how it handles it.

Quote    Reply   

#13 [url]

Nov 19 16 5:31 PM

plarblman wrote:
I think that's the point, though. She's supposed to be a massive poser and is badly imitating what she thinks rap culture is like.

Exactly. In fact, one joke involves her trying to sell her mixtape on the street... until one passerby mockingly calls her out on it: "Mixtapes are free, fam!"

Quote    Reply   
avatar

ohitsyou

Living Spambot

Posts: 500

#14 [url]

Nov 19 16 9:54 PM

UglyHyena wrote:

ohitsyou wrote:

UglyHyena wrote:
Hmmm I personally don't know... it is supposed to be silly. Like, it is based on the whole premise that there is a japanese schoolgirl trying to act like a black gangsta. It's kinda around the line of shows like Excel Saga, in that it is supposed to be a dumb premise where dumb things happen and that is what's funny about it.

But Excel Saga made me laugh. This is just shock value for the sake of shock value, like Morning Glory. Its just meme the webcomic.

I strongly object against this comparison. First: this comic is not shock humor for the sake of it, it does have a cast of characters and a plot. Second: everyone in-universe (save three absolutely socially-inept characters) is aware that Sandra is a poser that is probably just doing this whole "gangsta" thing for attention. The question presented so far is what is the reason she acts like this when she actually used to be a somewhat normal kid. Third: it does tend to present a somewhat more down-to-earth approach to the Haruhi-Suzumiya-like character archetype, in fact it makes me believe it is intended as a deconstruction of it. Fourth: I believe that any premise, no matter how dumb it is, can make a decent story if handled correctly, and OG-Chan, despite the absolutely stupid premise, actually didn't make me punch my screen in rage. In fact, it has a pretty weak start but it does get better.

So I personally don't think this comic belongs here, at least not yet. Just now the plot has started to kick in, so I suggest we see how it handles it.

Well, I read some more of it. Its actually not that bad given it a second chance. It kind of reminds me of that Sonichu parody. However, I hate that 3d cell shaded look, but thats just my preference. 

Quote    Reply   

#15 [url]

Jun 12 17 7:58 PM

Okay so.
I figured I should have at least gone another 50 to see what's what, see what could be improved, what probably could get removed, and all that.


So.
I am going to try and seperate my ego from everything.
This is fucking hard, because I am human.



That said.
I'mma need ya'll to flay me the fuck alive, to help me improve in this matter.
And then, if it's good or bad, I gotta ask how to get this shit of mine reviewed.

If it's bad, then by ya'll; if not, then I'll thank you now for all ya'll's time, and move on.



I give thanks to everybody for the criticism now, and for all the advice and criticism I have already received.
It'll probably be deserved. And it's helping wonders.



https://ogchan.com/comic/og-chan-101-questions-for-og-chan-pt-13/

Right here is where I left off in the original post of this here thread.
And also right here is where I took UglyHyena's advice.



If anything more can be helped, that's what I'm after.
And as always, thanks in advance.

(flay me alive fam)

Last Edited By: EvilBobtheAlmighty Jun 12 17 8:04 PM. Edited 1 time.

Quote    Reply   
Add Reply

Quick Reply

bbcode help